The lost art of patience and curiosity
- hbsingh
- Aug 8
- 4 min read
"Dripping water wears through stone, but not in a single day." – Chinese Proverb
Before heading off on holiday, I stuffed five slim books into my bag for flights, trains, and the rarest luxury of all: unbroken thinking time (aside from long sessions of Monopoly Deal).
One book was about communication, another about Nobel Peace Prize winners, another about a man’s search for meaning, and one was The Art of War. Other than reminding myself of the enjoyment of reading a great book, they shared a common message: the power of patience and curiosity.
Patience sounds quaint in this age of fail fast version 5.0. Curiosity too, is too slow a process. Just take a view and move on. So why am I vowing to practice patience and curiosity?
The age of 'fast'
We live in an era that prizes the shortcut over the craft.
News is served before it’s fact-checked. This short-termism is everywhere. People choosing to have delicate conversations over text or email. People measuring the quality of their output by likes on social media rather than longevity of usefulness. Pills and therapies preferred over lifestyle advice and we just read the headline rather than trying to understand the news story. The problem is, there is nothing so slow, as trying to do things faster than they take.
Patience is not dithering. It’s the discipline of shaping slowly enough that the work emerges clean. Great investment research, great health and great relationships cannot be rushed. Sticking with a long-term strategy is the only way to unlock things that compound. But patience is more than just sticking with a long-term strategy.
Hearing about how the Nobel peace prize winners operated, was truly a test of patience. They sat down and spoke with their counterparts, they talked through very painful shared history. Listening, truly listening that is, requires suspending your wish to conclude or make your point.
Embracing uncertainty
No one sees the whole truth. Ever. At best, we might see many fragments - like working from a half-finished blueprint. But our brains itch for closure. We want the plan “settled”, so we can put that process to bed, and move on to the next thing. We want to eliminate doubt.
Uncertainty is like a splinter: small but irritating enough to rush the job just to make it go away. And so, we trade accuracy for the relief of completion. So how do you balance the risk of inaction versus the risk of false certainty?
I love the saying "High conviction, loosely held". Knowing enough to act without certainty is the art of risk-taking. Whilst you can make sensible moves to avoid losing your shirt if a move goes wrong and profit it goes well, there is no way you can remove all risk.
Patience and operating under uncertainty helps avoids analysis paralysis but does help sift out truly great opportunities where you can get deep and really make an impact versus shallow stock tips and life hacks.
Which leads us to curiosity.
A hunger for understanding
Patience alone can become passive, like a craftsman who never starts cutting for fear of making a mistake. Curiosity is what gives it energy - the urge to turn the workpiece over, check the joints, test the balance.
It’s the habit of asking:
Am I justified in making this assumption?
What’s on the other side of the story?
What detail have I overlooked?
Curiosity makes you read the whole article. It draws you into conversations with people who you wouldn’t have normal contact with. It prompts you to notice the quiet colleague who has been quietly doing something brilliant in the corner.
The quest for excellence
The best investors don’t swing at every pitch - they wait for the one worth going large on. They analyse dispassionately rather than follow the FOMO. The best negotiators speak less than they listen, operating from a position of understanding rather than forcing an outcome. The best friends don’t assume they ask and pick up cues.
The principle is the same. Care enough to look deeply.
Curiosity what makes you sit with a problem long after others have declared it “solved.” It’s asking the extra question that turns a polite conversation into a deep one. It’s reading the footnotes instead of skipping them or finding out more about the author and why they are writing this article.
How to build patience and curiosity
Pause before you decide – Give major decisions some breathing space. Let the noise settle before you act.
Ask "have I understood you correctly" and try and summarise – especially when you think you’ve understood the gold is often in the clarification.
Know you don't have the full picture – Seek out views that complement your own. Your reality and theirs might be different leading to richer understanding.
Stay with the unknown – Get comfortable saying, I’m still working it out.
Go beyond the surface – Read the full article, the footnotes, and sometimes even the sources they cite.
Patience is giving yourself the space to see clearly. Curiosity gives you the reason to keep looking. Together, they turn quick takes into deeper truths. In a world that serves up fast food, patience and curiosity help you serve gourmet meals.
Next time we'll talk about "The moral case for sorting the deficit". Until then, please sign up to receive the blog directly to your email at Blog | Deciders.
Holiday book list:
On holiday, I read:
Siddhartha – Hermann Hesse
Supercommunicator – Charles Duhigg
A collection on Nobel Peace Prize winners
The Art of War – Sun Tzu
Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury
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